Tag Archive | Christian living

Mother’s Day


How do I make the day special for my mom, for whom I sacrifice so much? My own daughter is miles away, being pampered by her children, under her husband’s guidance. It feels like every day is Mother’s Day for my mom. She has meals delivered almost every day, by the two people closest to her, physically and emotionally. Her mail is brought in from the box, set in front of her at the table. Trash is emptied, recycle taken out, batteries replaced, bills paid, surveys answered.

What would it take to make the day different than every other day? Candy? Flowers? Does a beautiful card make the day special?

Is it necessary to make a big deal out of a day that makes florist’s do the happy dance? What would make it special for me is to spend a few hours with my daughter. No candy, flowers, silly balloons. Just time to walk, chat, grab a coffee. With no demands from her kids. Yes, I love my grandchildren to pieces, but I loved my daughter first.

My first born, my miracle, my pride and joy. The ‘good child.’

I don’t need a fake holiday to feel valued as a mother. I already am. I’m loved, valued, and I love and value in return. From my grandmother down to my youngest granddaughter, we have a legacy of caring, loving, and strong women. I don’t need Hallmark to tell me so.


Never Say These 2 Things to a Grieving Mom


A few months after my son Bobby died, I had lunch with a few friends. I still wasn’t up to socializing, but I agreed to go anyway. One of the women said something that made me want to jump across the table and grab her by the throat. I know she meant her words as comfort, but at that time it was like rubbing salt in an already gaping wound. It’s now been five years and I can remember my visceral reaction that day.

Here are two things NEVER to say to a grieving mother:

He/she is in a better place. No he’s not! He should be here with his family. With me. How could any place be better?

If you just do X, you’ll find closure. Really? What does closure mean, exactly? Do you think one simple act will help relieve the unrelenting aching of my empty arms?

As any mom will tell you, after 5 years, 10 years, or even longer, there is no such thing as closure. Writing my book, BECAUSE OF GRACE, didn’t bring closure. Putting a brass plaque with Bobby’s name on the Children’s Memorial Tree in South Lake Tahoe didn’t bring me closure. Closure is like trying to grab smoke.

Has anyone ever said anything to you like this? How did you respond?




Because of Grace available on Amazon:


Being Coached Is Hard



I sighed with satisfaction as the latest episode of my favorite television show ended. I’d become addicted to watching it every week. It’s not that I watch a lot of TV, but this show had me hooked. It was an ongoing drama, carried on from week to week. Like a soap opera, nothing was neatly tied up in a one-hour time slot.


A week or so later, I heard my Life Coach telling me I needed to be more careful about what I watched on television. Mind you, the show wasn’t violent, it didn’t have questionable language, but most of the characters engaged in all kinds of sexual behavior. No better or worse than other shows on prime time. Why was my Life Coach trying to ruin my fun?


I tried ignoring the advice. I must have heard wrong. Surely that was the enemy wanting to trip me up.


Then I tried reasoning. Come on, it’s not that bad. It doesn’t affect my life in a negative way.


This morphed into downright rebellion. “I’m going to watch it anyway.” That worked for a few weeks, until my Life Coach recruited help in the form of one of his assistants, AKA my pastor. The sermon was about giving everything to God. My Life Coach must have been sitting behind me because I heard Him whisper, “Are you listening?”


Well, shoot. When you pull out the big guns, I guess I better sit up and pay attention.


“Fine,” I muttered. “I won’t watch it anymore.” If I were twelve years old again, I’d have stomped off to my room and slammed the door.


It’s now a few weeks later. True to my word, I haven’t watched that particular TV show. Has my life changed? Am I now more holy, more spiritual? I wish I could say yes. But nothing’s changed. At least outwardly. But I’m sure my Life Coach knows what’s best for me. Even when I don’t agree. Even when I can’t see the point. I must believe he knows more than I do. After all, He’s the coach.