Are You Done Yet?

Have you ever stood in front of your microwave, waiting for something to cook? You wonder why the two or three minutes it takes seems like a lifetime. Especially if you’re waiting for that last kernel of popcorn to ricochet against the bag.
Instant, instantaneous, up-to-the-minute, happening right now. That’s the way we live. News reports are updated hourly, and fed to us through every channel imaginable. It’s easy to become impatient when things don’t move quickly.
Overcoming loss isn’t like watching popcorn in the microwave. It’s more like the slow fermenting process of wine. It can’t be rushed or the end will be sour.
As I’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I’ve found it’s a long, lonely journey. I’ve been impatient with myself, wanting to get to the end. Others urged me to ‘get over it.’ I’ll admit, before the death of my son, I thought the same thing, as I watched people grieve for years over the death of a loved one, or a divorce, or the loss of a prestigious position.
There’s a line in the movie Moonstruck, where Nicholas Cage declares his love for Cher. Her response is, “Snap out of it!” Isn’t this typical of our desire to get past the pain, minimize the loss, and move back into a happy place?
In the four years since Bobby died, I can say with confidence that I’m grateful for the slow grief process. I’m once again able to watch a video of him and laugh. I can look at his picture without the quick stab of grief.
Don’t let anyone rush you through. When someone asks, ‘Are you done yet?’, your answer should be a resounding NO.

Advertisements

One thought on “Are You Done Yet?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s