How grief affects marriages

The anger phase of grief can be deadly for relationships. I’m grateful for God’s grace that kept Mike and me in synch while we both grieved for our son. An acquaintance shared with me that she and her husband divorced as a result of their child’s death. Her husband couldn’t express his grief, and refused to acknowledge his pain. She wanted to talk about their child and remember her antics, but he wouldn’t let himself go there. Communication ground to a halt, which eventually destroyed their marriage.

By contrast, a woman and her husband whose daughter died suddenly, have a thriving worship ministry. They grieve together and support each other when the pain ebbs and flows.

My entry into the secret club of mothers of children who’ve died has brought me into fellowship with some amazing women of faith. I expected to see women who’ve been broken by the worst possible circumstance. Instead, I find women who are compassionate, caring, and doing things they would have never done had they not lost a child. They are women who trust God so completely that they can’t be moved. They’ve faced the monster of death, and have survived.

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2 thoughts on “How grief affects marriages

  1. As I began reading through your blog entries, I stopped at August 9,2013. It was THE day that would forever change the lives we had known BEFORE… before that DAY. As we found ourselves THRUST into grief, we determined ourselves, as Stephanie’s parents, that we would not allow her life, and even her tragic death, fade away into darkness and depression. She was worth more than that! She was our sweet girl, our JOY when life was tough, and more than anything, our friend and sister in Christ! God has been merciful and showered us with his AMAZING GRACE, through the love, prayers, meals, and never ending supply of prayer cards our church family has bestowed on us. Thank you Jane for being there for us in the early hours and days, and even these past 11 months. All it takes from someone who has been through the agonizing pain of child loss, is a quick glance my way across the aisles at church, and I know that you know! Thank you for your prayers, your love and support! Denise

    • Thanks, Denise – You and I know how the death of your child affects every relationship. Mike and I discovered who were our true friends, and who only drained us of the small amount of energy we had. Still praying for you, dear sister of my heart.

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