There is a certain notoriety in grieving. When you’ve lost a child, spouse, parent, fiancee, you have a golden ticket out of a lot of things. You can use it for many excuses. Our human nature adores this. You have the attention of others. You can bring up the loss in conversation and immediately get sympathy. As time passes, you lose your “differentness.” The tendency is to cling to the death as a way of setting us apart; a kind of identity. That’s one reason we hang around with others who have experienced loss. The challenge is to continue to grow in the face of loss, to not let the loss define me, but to add the loss to the total of who I am.