There is a secret club made up of parents who have lost children to death. It’s a club whose entrance or membership is of the worst kind of tragedy a parent can face. There’s an instant bond with others; a connectedness with people who have gone through the same thing. The rules are only understood by the members. Those on the outside can not ever enter nor understand. It’s a life-long membership and is never revoked. We have a secret language that non members don’t get. In their confusion, they often judge us. “Move on. Get over it. You have other children. Get on with your life.” How we deal with their judgement is up to us. We can become angry and shut them out. Or we can pity them. Perhaps the best way is to take the grace we have been given through our child’s death; and love them.